I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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