So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
