I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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