she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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