After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize