Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
