You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
