i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
