Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
