I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
