yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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