I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
