she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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