with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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