kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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