I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
