you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
