If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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