I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
