she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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