Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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