no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
