Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
