He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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