I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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