ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
