Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
