The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
