i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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