He told me they were just razor bumps!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
