You smell like a Billy Joel song
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
