But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
