just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
