Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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