Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
