I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
