Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
