stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
