with your own penis?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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