using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My pussy is not your playground.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
