And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
