yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
