I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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