I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
