I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
