I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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