I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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