Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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