I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
