So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
