I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
