I just pynch a tree in the face
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
