oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
