Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
