I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
