I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
